PM Sermon Outline: 01/08/23
Do I wait to be asked for Forgiveness?
Bro Avery Hines
Forgiveness in the Bible is a “release” or a “dismissal” of something. The
forgiveness we have in Christ involves the release of sinners from God’s just
penalty and the complete dismissal of all charges against us (Colossians 1:14).
God’s gracious forgiveness of our sin is to be the measure of our gracious
forgiveness of others (Ephesians 4:32).
The Bible speaks a great deal about forgiveness, both God’s forgiveness of sinful
human beings and the forgiveness that human beings should have for each other.
But they are not two separate, unrelated issues of forgiveness; rather, they are
vitally linked. Intimacy with God and day-to-day cleansing are dependent on our
forgiveness of others (Matthew 6:12), and our forgiveness of others is to be
patterned on and an example of God’s forgiveness of us (Ephesians 4:32).
It is true that the forgiveness God extends to us is conditional upon our
confession of sin and repentance. Confession involves agreeing with God about
our sin, and repentance requires a change of mind concerning the wrong attitude
or action and a change in behavior that evinces a genuine willingness to forsake
the sin. Sin remains unforgiven unless it is confessed and repented of (see 1 John
1:9).
Scripture says to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). Not
only is this an obligation, but it should be our delight. If we are truly thankful for
our own forgiveness, we should have no hesitancy in granting forgiveness to a
repentant offender, even if he wrongs us and repents again and again. After all,
we, too, sin again and again, and we are thankful that God forgives us when we
come to Him with a true repentant heart of confession.
Should we forgive a person who does not confess his sin and is not repentant? To
answer this properly, the term forgiveness needs some explaining. First, what
forgiveness is not:
Forgiveness is not the same as forbearance (tolerance). To forbear is to patiently
endure a provocation, overlook a slight, or maintain self-control in the face of
frustration. Forbearance causes us to weigh someone’s sinful action or attitude
with love, wisdom, and discernment and choose not to respond.
patience, longsuffering, endurance, and, of course, forbearance (Proverbs 19:11).
Forgiveness is also not forgetting. God does not suffer from amnesia about our
sin. He remembers very clearly; however, it is not a remembering to condemn us.
Forgiveness is not an elimination of all consequences. Even when we are forgiven
by Christ, we may still suffer the natural consequences of our sin (Proverbs 6:27)
or face the discipline of a loving Heavenly Father.
Forgiveness is not the private, solitary act of an individual heart. In other words,
forgiveness involves at least two people. This is where confession and repentance
come in. Forgiveness is not only about what happens within the offended
person’s heart; it is a transaction between two people.
Forgiveness is not the automatic restoration of trust. Scripture gives us many
reasons to distrust those who have proved themselves untrustworthy. Trust must
be rebuilt; can only begin after a process, involving confession and repentance.
Biblically, full forgiveness is not just something that the offended person offers; it
requires that the offender receives it, bringing reconciliation to the relationship.
First John 1:9 shows that the process of forgiveness is primarily to free the sinner;
forgiveness ends the rejection, thus reconciling the relationship. Some modern
theories have wrongly taught that “forgiveness” is one-sided, that reconciliation
is unnecessary, and that the purpose of this unilateral forgiveness is to free the
offended person of feelings of bitterness.
Can we forgive a person who doesn’t think they’ve done wrong, and we think
they have, or if they don’t ask for any forgiveness? Some believe the answer is we
can, and we must. We must do our part in the forgiveness. This is what Jesus
meant, I think, when he said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you,
pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27-28). They have not asked for any
forgiveness, and they don’t think they need any, making life miserable for us, or
we feel they’re trying to. Well, bless them, and pray that blessing means that our
part of the inward forgiveness has happened. Blessing them is the opposite of
holding a grudge, and so blessing, to me, is forgiving them.
Question: is it true that the full effect of forgiveness can only happen if the other
person believes they need it and want it. Isn’t it frustrating when you want to
forgive somebody, and they don’t think they need any forgiveness? We don’t wait
for them to do their half before we do our half. We must be rid of bitterness and
grudges right away (Rom 12:17-21).
It is hard when someone does not admit their sin. It's vital to remember we're all
sinners and Jesus is with us. Jesus forgives us when we sin. Jesus comforts us
when we are sinned against. And that's what we need more than anything. We
need Jesus. A reconciled relationship with another human being should always be
our desire. But a reconciled relationship with God in Christ is our enduring hope.
Jesus alone ultimately forgives us and protects us from both pride and shame by
giving us his peace.